


come home to my heart

by debbieocean



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Notebook (2004) Fusion, Falling Apart, Friends to Lovers, Getting Back Together, Love Confessions, M/M, a notebook au of sorts, an idea i had a while ago and dropped but now i found it in my drafts and i thought it was cute, but bucky moved away and now it's awkward, steve and bucky were childhood best friends, they have to rebuild their relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27783538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debbieocean/pseuds/debbieocean
Summary: "It's always going to be there, isn't it?" Steve whispered in the dark, with only the soft light of the full moon illuminating his face.Bucky could feel it as well. The pull. Gravity. Just as strong as the first day. Stronger, even."You and me."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson
Kudos: 3





	come home to my heart

“Steve, honey, are you still in bed? Get up! Sam and Nat are going to be here in twenty minutes!” 

That last bit of information got his attention. “I thought they weren’t coming back until next week?” 

He got up and walked into the kitchen, he could barely distinguish what his mom was saying from his room. 

“Nat called this morning while you were still asleep.” Sarah said. “It turns out they caught an early flight back from New York. Apparently, they had a lot of fun, but it just wasn’t the same without you. I think they wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” 

Steve looked up, rubbing his eyes and trying to hide his excitement. “My birthday’s not until Saturday, though.” He smirked. “Nah, I bet Sam got fed up with Nat dragging him across every boutique in New York City, so he convinced her they had to come back early because I’m sad and lonely without them. Classic Sam.” 

Sarah shook her head. “Well he’s not wrong now, is he? You’ve been moping around since they left, almost like when-” She hesitated, before deciding not to finish that sentence once she saw the way Steve’s face fell immediately after he realized who she was referring to. 

“You know how much I appreciate that you’re being responsible and saving up for college. But you’re so young sweetheart, you haven’t even turned seventeen. I don’t want you to miss out on everything. If it comes down to it, we can always ask your father to help us out with tuition.” 

“I’m not asking that man for anything.” He cut her off sternly. “And stop calling him my father. He’s a stranger whom I’ve only ever met a handful of times. The most parenting he’s done is sending me a check every month.” 

“I only have one parent,” Steve added, voice softening as he pulled her in for a hug, “and she’s more than enough.” 

“Stop making me cry, you big sap! And go get ready before your friends get here.” 

Steve pressed a quick kiss on his mother’s cheek and then ran to the bathroom so he could shower and shave off his one week old stubble before Nat could see him and dramatically claim he’s completely let himself go while she was away. 

⁂ 

“I’m never drinking again.” 

“That’s what you said last month.” 

“No. Look me in the eye, Barton. I. Am. Never. Drinking. Again. Last night was the worst night of my life.” 

“Ow, you’re always so dramatic, Buckaroo. I bet we’ll go out next week and you’ll take one look at those tequila shots you love so much and all will be forgotten.” 

He knew Clint was purposefully teasing him but he didn’t care. He needed to make his point before he passed out again. “First of all, I’ve already told you I’m done with tequila. All it tastes like now is that one time I almost died and made a fool of myself. Second of all, I’m never drinking again. New year, new Bucky.” 

“It’s almost July, you moron.” Bucky heard his best friend yell from the bathroom. 

“It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. Besides, we won’t be here next week, remember?” 

“Uh-huh.” He heard Clint walk back into his bedroom, but he couldn’t will himself to open his eyes. “Of course I remember. Not all of us are filthy rich, this vacation is actually a big deal to me.” 

This did it. Bucky snapped up with his eyes wide open. “Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s a big deal for me as well. Don’t forget Seabrook Island is where I grew up.” 

“Is that why your parents had to practically beg you to spend the summer there? They’re even bringing me for moral support, that’s how much effort it took convincing you. So excuse me if I’m not completely sold on this being your dream holiday.” 

“It’s not that, it’s just...” Bucky took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts. “Leaving my life there was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But it had to be done, I had to be supportive of my dad’s job, he was already going through so much, didn’t need me whining on top of all that. I guess I just decided to leave everything behind and never look back. Build myself something new here. Then I met you and all the guys and well... I’m happy. I don’t want to look back. Only forward.” 

Clint looked at him more sympathetically now. “You’re overthinking everything. We are going to get there on Monday, meet up with your grandma, you’re going to show me where to party at night and we’ll do nothing but soak up in the sun during the day. Trust me, we are going to have the best two months of our life, before senior year kicks our ass.” 

“Six weeks, actually.” Bucky could feel the pillow Clint threw at his face before he even finished that sentence. This was going to be fun. 

⁂ 

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the star spangled man with a plan himself!” 

Steve groaned as he saw Sam and Nat approaching him, pulling both of them in a group hug, nonetheless. “You know I hate it when you call me that. Halloween was eight months ago, and while I can admit my costume was a little unfortunate, I think it’s time to let that one go, buddy.” 

“Nope. You need to learn how to live with your mistakes, Stevie!” Sam laughed, visibly enjoying himself. 

Steve rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling back. “I’ve missed you guys so much. You have to tell me everything.” 

It wasn’t until they pulled back that he noticed Sam and Nat were holding hands. 

“Wait. Are you guys like an item now? Did you spontaneously fall in love in New York? I never considered it the most romantic place in the world, but then again I’ve never left this goddamn island.” Suddenly he looked as if a light bulb went on over his head. “OH. Does that mean I’m the Harry Potter of this friend group?! Not that there’s anything wrong with Harry Potter, I just-” 

“Ouch!” Natasha smacked his shoulder with the shopping bag she was apparently holding this entire time, which seemingly stopped his never-ending rambling. 

“Drama queen. You know I have to hold you boys close or else you get lost. Now open your present.” 

Steve tried to look offended for longer than thirty seconds but it was a lost cause, so he just took the bag from Nat, ignoring her self-satisfied smirk. 

“My best friend went to New York and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt? Wow, very original, thank you guys.” Steve said shaking his head, even though he secretly always wanted one of these. 

“Shut up, that was Sam’s idea.” 

“Oh, is that how it is? Well no one is forcing you to wear it, I’m just going to keep it for myself, thank you very mu-” Sam got interrupted when Steve yanked the t-shirt away from him. “Back off, all mine.” 

All three of them looked at each other for a moment, before they burst out laughing. 

“Missed you, Rogers.” 

⁂ 

“Remind me again, why did I agree to attend one of your boring family dinners?” Clint pretended to complain just to make small talk, since apparently he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Bucky usually found it endearing but tonight he was in a bad mood and strangely irritable. He already went off on his sister Becca, who was just trying to help him pack. He needed to pull himself together or else this was going to be a long summer. 

“James? What do you think?” His mother’s voice interrupted his train of thoughts. 

“Hmmm? I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I’m trying to figure out if I forgot to pack my swimming suit.” He lied. 

“I was telling your father it would be a splendid idea to invite the Maximoff twins with you to the island. Their parents and George are about to sign an important contract and our kids bonding could only strengthen that link. I’ve seen you bond with that girl Wanda. Besides, the three of you could use some company until we get there.” 

“I’ve already told you I don’t feel that way about her.” Bucky answered coldly. “And I thought we were bringing Clint to keep me company?” He winked at his best friend who was trying to remain neutral in this situation. 

“I know sweetie, but it’s still good keeping all of your options on the table.” 

He just raised his eyebrows and ate his soup apathetically. 

“That’s enough, Winifred. Bucky is seventeen years old, he doesn’t have to worry about any of that. If he doesn’t want to invite anyone else, then that’s that on that and I don’t want to hear another word.” 

Bucky looked at him gratefully. 

“He’ll have plenty of company between Becca, Clint, my mom... and Steve.” 

Bucky almost gagged on his soup. “What do you mean, “Steve”? 

His dad eyed him strangely, like he was the one who was confused. 

“Steve? Sarah Rogers’ little blond kid? The one you went to see every day after school? I hope they’re doing okay, that kid used to spend so much time in the hospital. Anyway, don’t tell me you’re not planning to reconnect? The two of you used to be inseparable.” 

Bucky grimaced as he inhaled sharply. “That was a long time ago. I haven’t heard from him in forever. You can’t expect for things to go to the way they were.” 

“Three years is hardly forever. It’s up to you, but I think it would be a shame to let that friendship go.” 

Bucky nodded slowly, focusing on the food on his plate, and that was the end of that conversation. 

⁂ 

“You know, if you invited that pretty little Carter girl out, she’d probably say yes.” Natasha tried to sound nonchalant as they were walking down the street, both of them with a big pile of books in their hands. 

“So I’ve been told.” Steve tried not to sound as annoyed as he felt. “Repeatedly. By you. Sometimes I think your only mission in life is to get me married.” 

“Awh, you’re such a romantic.” Nat smirked back at him. “Laid, is the word I would use, but close enough.” 

Steve turned back to look at her. “Why are you being so insistent with this?” 

“Look, if I knew you didn’t like her, I would let it go. But I see the way you look at her sometimes. I mean, who can blame you, she’s a stunner. Hell, I’d gladly smooch her, if I had the chance.” 

“Yeah, she is.” Steve let his guard down for a second. 

“I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want. Obviously. All I’m saying is, don’t let a good thing go because you’re too scared to take a chance. She might surprise you.” 

“You are wise beyond your years, did you know that, Romanoff?” 

“Of course I am. Someone needs to keep you boys in check.” 

They took a moment to look fondly at each other, before she snapped again. “Are you going to hurry up and get rid of these books? My hands are killing me. Why do you need to sell them, again?” 

“I need the money.” He answered. “My mom has been doing better lately, and I know she doesn’t want me to worry, but you never know. I want to save up as much money as I can, just in case there’s an emergency again.” 

She nodded and they walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence. 

⁂ 

“Wow.” Clint walked to the balcony his room shared with Bucky’s, looking directly towards the ocean, as the sun slowly began to set. “Maybe befriending you _wasn’t_ the worst choice I’ve ever made, after all. Who would’ve thought.” 

“Ha-ha, very funny. Are you going to stand there, looking pretty all day, or are you going to help me unpack? Don’t forget that there’s a bunch of your stuff in my suitcase.” 

Clint walked into Bucky’s bedroom with a big, dopey smile on his face. 

“Of course I’ll help you. Have I ever told you that you’re my bestest friend in the whole world? Come here, give your bestie a big bear hug!” He hugged him almost forcefully, and Bucky sighed into it, helplessly. 

“I have to admit, now I understand why you’re always so grumpy, though.” Clint continued, before pulling away. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, imagine growing up here, in this paradise, and then being forced to leave it all behind and adapt to the filthy streets of New York… I would lose my mind.” 

Bucky considered this for a moment, before responding. “Yeah. The first couple of months were rough. But don’t underestimate New York. It certainly has it’s charm.” 

“I know… but still. Wouldn’t you want to move back here, someday? After college? It just seems like the ideal place to settle down, grow old.” He concluded, dreamily. 

“Maybe.” Bucky said, as his mind began to wander. 

⁂ 

It was a bit past nine o’clock on a warm October evening and all the streets on Seabrook Island were unusually dark and peaceful. The tourists were long gone and the locals slowly began settling into their normal routine. 

There, in the middle of what used to be a busy road just a couple of months ago, two ten-year-old boys, one blond and the other brunet, decided it would be a fun game to lay down and stare as the semaphore changed colors from green to yellow to red. To be fair, it was entirely Steve’s idea and well, Bucky wasn’t sure whether he was so convincing, or if he would’ve done just about anything to see him smile again, after his friend spent three particularly mortifying weeks in the hospital. 

“Hey, Buck. Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” Bucky answered, without even looking up. 

“Can we do this next year as well? If I’m okay. And the year after that? Once the tourists are gone and it’s no longer dangerous. We can sneak out of my room so your mom doesn’t find out and get mad. Can we keep doing it? Just me and you. Together.” 

“I would love that, Stevie.” Bucky made eye contact with him this time, baby blues sparkling in the dark. “I would love that very much.” 

Steve smiled at him contently before looking back at the semaphore, and Bucky had to close his eyes for a couple of seconds to stop himself from tearing up. 

⁂ 

“Bucky?! I heard someone upstairs, is that you?” 

His grandma’s voice snapped him out of that memory and as soon as he had gathered himself enough to respond properly, he noticed her standing at the door. 

“It is!” She squealed, running towards him to wrap him in a big hug. “Let me look at you, young man. You’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you. I love the long hair as well, very punk/rock, just like your father before he went bald, god bless his soul.” 

She pulled back to take another look at him. “And where’s your sister? Oh Clint, I didn’t notice you standing there on the balcony. What do you think about our humble home?” 

“If I could marry a place, this would be it, Mrs. Barnes.” He answered, still dazed from the view. 

“He’s just saying that to get into your good graces, I wouldn’t believe him one bit if I were you, grandma.” Becca appeared out of nowhere, all dolled up. 

“Hey, Becs. Were we planning a night out and you forgot to tell me or...?” Bucky looked her up and down. 

“Well, _we_ weren’t planning anything, my old friend Daisy invited me to the town fair they’re organizing tonight, and _I suppose_ you losers can come with us. If you want.” She smirked. 

Bucky frowned. “How come you got all the good looks and superior social skills in this family? Life is so unfair.” 

“Cry me a river. So... what do you say?” 

Bucky looked over at Clint and they nodded in unison. “Sure. Why not. Just let me take a shower and eat a piece of grandma’s pie first.” 

⁂ 

Steve said goodbye to his mom and started locking the door, when he heard someone approaching him from behind. He didn’t even manage to turn around, before Sam and Nat started whistling like a couple of kids. 

“Nice blazer, man.” Sam couldn’t help but comment. 

“Your ass looks amazing in those jeans.” Nat added. 

Steve looked at them like a disappointed middle-aged father, before deciding to speak up. 

“Okay, I have to tell you something, but you can’t make fun of me, or laugh, or say ‘I told you so’... none of that.” 

“Us?!” Both of them feigned offense. “You know us, we would never.” 

“Come on, Rogers. Spill the beans. We’re all ears.” Nat insisted. 

Steve took a deep breath, and then he just spat it out. “I may have asked Peggy out. Tonight. To the fair. With us. And she may have said yes.” He only looked up at them once he finished and for a moment it looked like they wouldn’t react. 

“YOU WHAT?!” 

Here we go. 

“You can’t ask a girl out on your first date and then bring your two best buds with you, what’s the matter with you?! Have I taught you nothing about women?!” 

Steve sighed. “Don’t yell at me. I guess I just thought maybe it’d take some pressure off of me? You know how nervous I get. And she was already looking forward to the fair, so... She said she’d meet us there. I thought we could all go together as friends, and then we’ll see where it goes from there.” 

“You’re right.” Nat looked at him sympathetically. 

“He is?” 

“We’re sorry. Don’t worry about it, we’ll be supportive and let her know what a great catch you are.” 

“We are?” 

“Yes.” She took both boys by their hands and dragged them down the street, towards the fair. “Let’s go get Peggy. I want some sugar foam before Steve gets on a ferris wheel.” 

⁂ 

“You know, for someone who considers themselves the ‘less attractive sibling’, your words, not mine, you sure as hell put a lot more effort to get ready for a random town celebration.” Becca said, eyeing him cautiously. 

Bucky was wearing an all-black outfit, tight, slightly sheer shirt and skinny jeans, both hugging him in all the right places. Plus, matching converse. He was still fixing his hair in a small bun, he always relished in the way both men and women looked at him because of that damn bun. It almost made taking care of his long, voluminous hair, worth it. The entire floor smelled like his cologne, not that anyone was complaining. He looked good. He knew he looked good. And yet... he couldn’t relax. Why was he trying so hard? Who was he trying to impress? Why did this stupid fair feel so important? He should just stay at home. That’s right. Take these ridiculous clothes off, put on some sweatpants and go hang out with his grandma. 

He was already headed towards his bedroom, when he heard Clint address him excitedly. “Ready to go, Bucket?” 

Some of his excitement seemingly rubbed off on Bucky and he decided to give this a chance after all. Who was he kidding? He wanted to walk around his old town. He wanted to see all the familiar faces he grew up around. He wanted to feel the smell of the ocean in his lungs. 

“Let’s go, Becs. Barton, you’re driving.” 

“What? I thought it was a ten-minute walk away?” Clint looked genuinely surprised. 

“He’s messing with you, man.” Becca shook her head. “When will you learn?” 

“Forgive me for always choosing to see the best in people.” He feigned disappointment. “Even when they always let me down.” 

“Let me play you a sad song on the world’s smallest violin.” Bucky started laughing hysterically, not being able to hold it in any longer. 

Clint’s pity party was interrupted when Becca noticed a smaller house near the end of their neighborhood. “Hey, isn’t that where Steve used to live with his mom? Do you think we should go say hi?” She looked over at Bucky. 

“Yes! I want to meet this Steve guy.” 

“Maybe next time.” Bucky tried to appear neutral and emotionless, even though he was very much freaking out on the inside. 

Steve’s house!!! Steve’s garden where they used to play every day after school!!! Was he inside? Did he still live with his mom? Was his mom okay? Was _he_ okay? Did he want to see Bucky again? 

Bucky hadn’t realized until this very moment how much he’d missed him. Sure, Clint and he were close, he considered him his best friend, but Steve... Steve was something else entirely. No one could ever replace him. Bucky’s heart ached for the blue of his eyes and the sound of his laugh. 

He got so lost in his thoughts about Steve he almost didn’t notice when they arrived. Luckily, he brought Clint to squeal next to him obnoxiously. 

“I LOVE ferris wheels.” He pulled Bucky inside. “Can we go? Pretty please?” 

“Sure.” Bucky answered. “But let’s get some snacks first. Are you coming with us, Becs?” 

“Actually, I just spotted Daisy over there.” She pointed towards a pretty, brunette girl, standing next to a vending machine. “How about I go say hi, and I’ll meet you at the ferris wheel in an hour?” 

“Deal.” Bucky agreed. “Come on, Barton. They make the best popcorn here.” 

“Ooooh, I want some sugar foam.” Clint added enthusiastically. 

“Sugar foam? What are you, twelve?” Bucky rolled his eyes, following him towards the candy stand anyway. 

⁂ 

“Oh, God.” Steve blushed as soon as he noticed Peggy standing by the entrance, big paper bag in hand, waiting for them. 

“She got here first. I’m late. This is embarrassing. I should just go home.” He mumbled under his breath. “You guys can say hello for me.” 

“Don’t be a coward. We’re not even late, she’s just early.” Sam dragged him in Peggy’s direction. 

“Besides, you said it yourself. This is just a friendly gathering. No reason to be nervous.” Nat smirked. “Right?” 

“Riiiight.” Steve attempted to pull himself together. 

“Hi, Peggy.” Is all he managed to get out, immediately giving her an awkward hug. What’s the matter with him? They don’t even know each other like that. 

“These are my friends.” He pointed at Sam and Nat. “Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff. You might know them from school.” 

“Oh yeah, of course.” She giggled, looking at Natasha. 

“We used to take ballet classes together.” Both of them said at the same time, smirking at each other. 

“Listen, I need a little favor.” Peggy started, looking directly at Steve. 

“I bought all this candy for my two-year-old niece, but my sister hasn’t arrived with her yet. I really need to use the toilet, and I don’t want to risk bringing the bag inside, bacteria and all that.” She looked up at him with her big, doe eyes, and whoa, Nat wasn’t kidding when she said she was beautiful. Of course Steve already knew that, he wasn’t a _complete_ idiot, and yet it still took him by surprise. 

“Could you please hold it for me, just until I get back. Ten minutes, I promise.” 

“Yeah... yes, of course.” Steve said. “Take your time. “We’re going to get some-” 

“Sugar foam!” Nat yelled from behind him, surprisingly she seemed to be paying attention to what they were saying. 

“Right, yes, sugar foam.” He looked back at Peggy. 

“Alright, I’ll see you guys there.” She smiled, handing Steve the bag, and then she was gone. 

“How can you possibly enjoy this sugary calorie bomb? Just looking at it is giving me diabetes.” Steve asked, before putting a big chunk of it in his mouth, like the hypocrite he was. 

Natasha pushed him away when he tried reaching out again. “Go get your own! This one’s all mine.” 

“I’ve never even seen you eat anything except kale.” 

“Well, this is my reward for eating well all year. And it is delicious, thank you very much.” 

“This is what you’re using for your cheat day? Seriously Nat, I’ve heard some nonsense in my day but this takes the cak-” 

Nat was already frowning at him, probably planning how to smack him across the face while keeping her foam intact, but it wasn’t necessary. A stranger bumped into him out of nowhere and he found himself on his ass in a matter of seconds. 

Sam and Nat didn’t even check if he was okay before they started laughing hysterically. Assholes. 

He was fine, not that anyone cared to ask, and he had already started picking himself back up, when he realized he had dropped Peggy’s bag when he fell. _OH, NO._

There was candy. Everywhere. The bag was practically empty. 

He dropped back down to his knees and started picking it up frantically, mumbling under his breath. “Stupid tourists, never watching where they’re going, assho-” He was mid-rant when he noticed he wasn’t the only one on the floor. Someone was helping him out, and he knew it couldn’t be Sam or Nat because they were still busy laughing at him. Also, they didn’t smell nearly as good. 

He looked up, and he could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat when he locked eyes with the stranger across from him. 

His eyes were big, and warm, and familiar, and there was a blue spark to their greyness, visible only in the moonlight. 

He was no stranger at all. 

Steve exhaled the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. 

“Bucky?” 


End file.
